The Godfather

The Godfather

I’ll make you an offer & you can’t refuse it. There is NO better product than one with this ranking.

Dior Diorshow Blackout Mascara

Fresh Soy Facial Cleanser

Tom Hagen

A Tom Hagen

You’re dependable. You sit at the right-hand of the Godfather (or in the case of this picture, lurk creepily behind him). You don’t quite run things but that doesn’t diminish your authority.

Benefit Brow Zings

Tarte Cheek Stain

Too Faced Lash Injection Mascara

Stila One Step Correct

Walk of Shame

Walk of Shame Worthy

So long lasting it’ll get you all the way through to the next day as you slink home in the early dawn light with your heels on and the gentleman caller’s pair of sweats (no judgement). But fear not, because your eyeliner will still be perfect!

Dior Diorshow Blackout Mascara

Eyeko Skinny Liquid Liner

NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencil

Snoop Dogg

The Blunt

Snoop Dogg wants you to pass that shit along and so do I; this product is not worthy.

Benefit They’re Real! Mascara

T Rex


Discontinued but I am NOT happy about it and will spread the word until they’re returned.

Benefit Georgia Powder



Products meant to keep you baby fresh!




We’ve all heard it before “she’s nice but her face…” the ever-so PC term that we all know and use. These products are nice but with one or two caveats.


Nicolas Cage

Nicolas Cage

An immensely popular product that seems to be in every makeup bag but you just can’t understand why much like Mr. Cage’s never-ending movie career. WHO KEEPS HIRING HIM?! And who perpetuates these crap products?